Orienting to safety following stress or trauma
When we experience a traumatic event, or events, it is not our conscious mind that determines whether the event was traumatic, but the nervous system. Trauma is a physiological experience rather than a cognitive one. In Texas, we are experiencing another winter storm. While this type of storm isn’t a big deal in states that expect winter weather events, in Texas we don’t have an infrastructure to support our people during this type of weather. This leaves many in our state without power and due to power loss, without access to basic needs. Many are left freezing and stuck in their homes because staying in the home is safer than navigating icey roads. Many of us in Texas are navigating the current winter weather even in 2023 when we haven’t yet recovered from the trauma of the winter weather event in 2021, even if we aren’t experiencing the events in the same way, our nervous system will respond to the events from a ‘worst case scenario’ perspective to best aid us in survival. Experiencing an event as trauma means we have to orient back to safety so our nervous system knows the trauma is complete. When a trauma is left incomplete, it can lead to symptoms that may turn in to PTSD. Here are some important pieces to processing stress or trauma to aid in completing the survival response and orienting back to safety.
Social engagement
The biggest antidote to trauma is social engagement, connecting with others. Trauma is experienced in isolation and exacerbated by the feeling that we are alone. When we connect with others, we can take in the safety they are offering from their own nervous system to help us regulate. While connecting with someone in person helps to give us the most felt sense of safety, we can still experience and take in presence by connecting in other ways too. We often find ourselves reaching for our cell phones when we are alone. We can feel a smile come across our faces when we get a notification from the group text or see a gif pop up that a friend has sent. You might also notice reaching for your cell phone after experiencing something dysregulating, to share with a friend. When we share with another who has the capacity to hold something with us, it allows us to not have to carry that experience alone, therefore, knowing we are not alone.
Move your body
As we noted, trauma is stored in the body and is experienced through the body. When we are in the midst of trauma, we are launched in to a fight, flight, or freeze response. To orient back to safety, we must move through these responses so we don’t get stuck in them. Moving your body can be as intense as a heavy work out or as light as flexing and releasing your muscles. To best understand what your body is needing, it can be helpful to notice where the nervous system is stuck and follow those urges. Are you stuck in freeze but notice an urge to run? Follow that. Are you moving around and getting things done when you feel an exhaustion like you need to rest? Follow that.
Rest
That brings me to our next important step in orienting to safety, rest. When we experience the initial trauma, we are often flooded with stress hormones that may leave us reeling following the trauma. This can make us continue to launch in to action and go about our daily lives, sometimes even over functioning. Rest can feel counter-intuitive and difficult, but it is essential in recovering from stress and trauma. If you are able to lay down and allow the body to relax as fully as you’re able, you may find that you quickly drift to sleep. If sleep isn’t something you’re able to access quite yet, allowing your body to be in as comfortable a position as possible and turning your brain off as fully as it’s able (try not to text or scroll, but perhaps watch a comforting show or listen to a comforting podcast) can allow the body and brain to be at rest.
Responding to your basic needs
When the body launches in to a trauma response, in order to conserve energy and give the best chance for survival, our body functions quite literally begin to shut down. As a trauma survivor, you may notice you don’t feel hunger or bathroom cues as readily as others, or need to feel them intensely in order to feel them at all (maybe you don’t notice you’re hungry until you’re starving). As you’re moving through crisis, you don’t have to reach for the big areas of recovery, sometimes it’s as simple as assuring your most basic needs are met.
Processing the story
Though the narrative isn’t the most important piece, and moving things through our body is key, processing the story helps us make sense and meaning of what happened. If you spend time around children, you might notice them sharing a story that has stood out to them several times. Perhaps it is the same story each time, or perhaps they add new details. This is one way children make sense of the world around them. Adults need this too. This may include sharing your experience with a therapist, a friend, or posting about it on social media. It might mean journaling or writing poetry about it. Processing the story is more about making sense of it rather than making meaning.
Taking action
To lean in to your fight response, you can launch in to action. This might look like helping folks affected by the same trauma by hitting the streets or donating money. This might look like providing a guide to those affected (how meta!). Or even connecting with those close to you to see how you might help. In Texas, we can provide warmth and shelter to those we know who are affected by the storm. Taking action connects us to a greater purpose through trauma and can also help us move away from isolation, toward further connection.
The MPP team is here with you as you navigate through your experience, whether you’re waiting for the ice to melt, or waiting for a hand to grasp. We hold you deep within the warmth of our hearts.
