The first few weeks of motherhood are hard. They may be some of the hardest weeks of your life. Through sleep deprivation and complete disregard of our own needs, we are expected to keep a tiny human alive and thriving. They said it would be joyous and magical, they lightly mentioned hard and exhausting, I heard nothing about it being scary. There was talk of hormone adjustments and lack of sleep--the reminder to sleep when baby sleeps--but no one spoke about the insomnia that may come. No one told me I'd be running on adrenaline, unable to force myself in to a nap. Even when she slept at night, I woke up thinking she might too, making sure she was still breathing.