The thing no one wants to talk about. The thing that feels hard and scary to talk about. For those who experience suicidal thoughts, it is hard and scary to talk about because we may be the only ones who feel that way. We may scare our family and friends. We may damage the facade that we are okay. We may seem weak or selfish.
When a mother gives birth, there is a sudden shift to being completely selfless. Nothing is about you anymore, it is all about the baby. When we make the shift to selfless, we often forget or don't acknowledge that recognizing our own needs is not a form of selfishness. The recognition of our own needs helps us to better recognize and acknowledge the need of the baby. While we tend to the baby, nurturing him or her--giving them love, food, comfort, and touch--we often forget to nurture ourselves. When our own needs aren't met, it makes it harder to tend to the needs of the baby. We may become easily frustrated and impatient with the baby, in turn making us frustrated with the way we are mothering.
The holidays bring wonderful things such as food, relaxation, family. For some, the whole family and relaxation thing don't really go together. While many dread seeing certain family members, it seems the dread increased in the past few years with tension from the election. Rather than sitting around a table enjoying turkey and wine, some of us have to sit around our table, clenching their fists, trying not to react to family members with opposing--even derogatory--views.
In the friends that I have bonded with over this odd "hobby," I've noticed many of us have struggled, or are currently, struggling with mental health issues. Many of us have also experienced some form of trauma in our lives, yet we are drawn to these traumatic stories. I often find myself wondering why true crime attracts those who struggle with anxiety, including hosts of the most popular true crime podcasts?